10 Feb 2011

ok god, what the fuck? how come im always invisible? how come im always overlooked? why am i always rejected? what gives? im so tired of being the outcast, the unacceptable, the one who is never quite good enough. what the fuck? right now i feel like i may as well be living in hell im so shunned righ now. today i saw a girl i know look right at me and the only reason she looked at me was because i said her name. that was it. WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?! do you remember your promise to me? do you not know my needs? or do you simply take a sadistic pleasure in tormenting me? i dont need to be the center of attention, id just like to be noticed by someone that doesnt make me want to gag. is that so difficult? am i really that fucking ugly and disgusting? i cant fucking live like this. i just cant. have you looked at my life lately? at this rate im not gonna be worth anything to anyone in a year. im already pretty close to being worthless as it is. why does it seem like all youre doing is sitting on your hands? i just dont get it anymore god. i just dont get it. let me know if you want something. ill be in my room, contemplating sending myself to eternity. like usual.